我是这样度过每一天
----向死而生-----
我是谁 之八
【原文】
Seeing beauty in a flower can awaken you, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of your own innermost being, your true nature. Joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition. Flowers can become for us an expression in form of that which is most high, most sacred, and ultimately formless within ourselves,. Flowers, more fleeting, more ethereal, and more delicate than the plants out of which they emerge, are like messengers from another realm, like a bridge between the world of physical forms and the formless. They not only have a scent that is delicate and pleasing, but also bring a fragrance from the realm of spirit.
When you are alert and contemplate a flower with out naming it mentally, it becomes a window for you in to the formless. There is an inner opening , however slight, into the spiritual dimension.
【译文】
看到花之美丽，哪怕只有片刻，就能使你苏醒，并意识到美乃是你自己的内在本质，是你的天性。愉悦与爱与这种美的认识内在相通。花朵成为一种表达，代表我们内在的高级，神圣，终极之无形之物。比起枝干，花朵转瞬即逝，空灵飘渺且娇嫩纤细。如同域外的使者，如同物质世界与无形世界间的桥梁。它们不仅有轻柔爽心的清香，更能带来心灵世界的芬芳。
当你清醒的注视花朵，不在心中给她冠名，她就会为你开启一扇窗，通向无形。心灵维度轻轻向你敞开。
【心得】
想到了王阳明“庭前格竹”的故事。这种藉由观察外物而通达内心的方式，很类似于王阳明的学说。这种格物，也就是对世上万物的探究，其目的乃是明白自己的内心。万物都有其美。万物都因此相同。通过观察发现眼前是物的美，使自己的内心与之共鸣。心灵之窗的洞开，全在者微不足道的一草一花一目。人们所需要的，只是慢下来，甚至驻足一会儿，让心灵有机会释放。
俗话说，一把钥匙开一把锁。这开心的钥匙，却是数不清的。只是，看你愿不愿西慢下来，去开心锁了。
-
我是谁 之七
【原文】
How do you let go of attachment to things? Don't even try. It's impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them. In the meantime, just be aware of your attachment to things.Sometimes you may not know that you are attached to something, which is to say, identified, until you lose it or there is the threat of loss. If you then become upset, anxious, and so on, it means you are attached. If you are aware that you are identified with a thing, the identification is no longer total. "I am the awareness that is aware that there is attachment." That's the beginning of the transformation of consciousness.
When you contemplate the unfathomable depth of space or listen to the silence in the early hours just before sunrise, something within you resonates with it as if in recognition. You then sense the vast depth of space as your own depth, and you know that precious stillness that has no form to be more deeply who you are than any of the things that make up the content of your life.
The twofold reality of the universe, which consists of things and space -- thingness and no-thingness-- is also your own. A sane, balanced, and fruitful human life is a dance between the two dimensions that make up reality: form and space. Most people are so identified with the dimension of form, with sense perceptions, thoughts, and emotions, that the vital hidden half is missing from their lives. Their identification with form keeps them trapped in ego.
Just as space enables all things to exist and just as without silence there could be no sound, you would not exist without the vital formless dimension that is the essence of who you are. We could say "God" if the word had not been so misused. I prefer to call it Being. Being is prior to existence. Existence is form, content, "what happens." Existence is the foreground of life; Being is the background, as it were.
The collective disease of humanity is that people are so engrossed in what happens, so hypnotized by the world of fluctuating forms, so absorbed in the content of their lives, they have forgotten the essence, that which is beyond content, beyond form, beyond thought. They are so consumed by time that they have forgotten eternity, which is their origin, their home, their destiny. Eternity is the living reality of who you are.【译文】
如何才能与物质分离，获得解脱？不可强求，因为强求也不可得。只有当你不再是同从事物中寻找自我时，对于事物的依赖才能自行消亡。停止寻找自我的同时，仍要持续关注你对事物的依赖。有时，你依赖于某些事物而不自知，只有当你失去或将要失去这种依赖时，才会有所觉察。如果这是你感到失落，焦虑等等，就意味着你存在着依赖。当你意识到某事某物代表着你时，这种代表性就不再是完整的了。“我是注意到这种依赖关系的觉知。”这就是意识转变的开始。
当你审视空间的浩淼或者倾听日出前的几个小时的静寂，你自身的某些部分就像是与其相识似的与之共鸣。你会感觉那空间的广阔深远就是你的深度，你会知道那宝贵且无形的寂静比做成你生命的所有有形之物更能代表深层次的你。
宇宙的真实具有两面性：事物与空间，有形与无形。你也如此。健全，平衡，富有成果的人生是在现实的形态与空间这两个维度之间的舞蹈。大多数人附着于形态这一维度，附着于直觉，思维，情绪。那重要的无形的一半在他们的生活中确实了。附着于形态使得他们深陷与自我之中。
就如同空间使万物得以生存其中，又如同没有寂静便没有声音，失去了无形的那一维度，你便不能生存。无形的那一维度才是你存在的核心。如果“上帝”一词不是被乱用做了其他的意思，我们大可以将这无形之维度成为“上帝”。而我，更乐于称其为“存在”（Being）。“存在”高于实存(existence)。实存是指形态，内容，“发生的事”。实存是生活前台；而“存在”则是生活的背景，历来如此。①
人类有一个通病：人们总是全神贯注于正在发生的事情，被这个变动不居的有形世界所催眠，被他们生活的内容而吸引而忘记了生活的本质。超越内容，超越形态，超越思维的本质。 人们被时间所消耗而忘记了永恒。忘记了永恒乃是人们的起源，家园和宿命。永恒是“我是谁”的鲜活现实。【心得】
①对于Being 与Existence的辨析，请参考这里 http://www.cctv.com/lm/131/61/85949.html 。简单来说，这两个词的中文翻译，都是存在。这其实是对后者的错误翻译。Being翻译成存在，意指一切的本源。这一切包含了时间，空间，事物在内的所有范畴。existence则只适用于事物之一范畴，是指事物作为实体而存在。这里我采用何光沪的说法，使用“实存”作为existence的中译。
-
我是谁 之六
【原文】
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,” Jesus said, "For theirs is the kingdom of heaven." What does "poor in spirit" mean? No inner baggage, no identifications. Not with things, nor with any mental concepts that have a sense of self in them. And what is the "kingdom of heaven"? The simple but profound joy of Being that is there when you let go of identifications and so become "poor in spirit".
【译文】
“心灵简单虚空的人有福了”，耶稣有言：“因为天国是他们的”①。心灵简单虚空指的是什么呢？没有内在负担，没有各种确认证明。不执着于事，或者与自我有关的思维观念。 什么又是“天国”呢？即当你放弃确认证明，成为心灵简单虚空后得到的单纯而深刻的存在的喜悦。
【心得】
①出自新约圣经『马太福音』，是论福的第一句话。对于这句话的翻译我参考了这里和这里。
对于圣经，我的知识是零。因此在了解作者对于圣经的这句“心灵简单虚空的人有福了”这句话时就格外的费力些。心灵空虚，缺少与物的附着，正是使得人们的本性得以独立存在的前提。没有附着于事物之上，受事物的影响就少，就越容易能超越羁绊，达到不以物喜，不以己悲的状态。
-
我是谁 之五
【原文】
When you become aware of the transience of all forms, your attachment to them lessens, and you disidentify from them to some extent. Being detached does not mean that you cannot enjoy the good that the world has to offer. In fact, you enjoy it more. Once you see and accept the transience of all things and the inevitability of change, you can enjoy the pleasures of the world while they last without fear of loss or anxiety about the future. When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage point from which to view the events in your life instead of being trapped inside them.
【译文】
所有形之物都转瞬即逝。意识到这一点，你便能减少对他们的依赖，并一点点的从有形之物中独立出来。 这种独立并不意味着你就不能享受这世界所给与的物质的美好了 。事实上，你将更加懂得享受。 当你明白并且接受所有事物都是转瞬即逝、变动不居的， 你便能在欢愉仍在时尽情享受，而不害怕失去或担心未来。 一旦你脱离了物质的羁绊， 便会得到审视自己生命中各种事件的制高点， 而不是陷入其中而不自知。
【心得】
人们喜欢了解事物。被清楚了解的事物往往就进入了自己的控制之中。 若想了解自己是谁，得先站得远些高些， 从远处或者高处观察审视自己。这种视角的获得， 需要将自己同各种有形的事物划分出些界限，分清楚什么是我， 什么是物。有了这样的视角，才可以不以物喜，不以己悲。 一切都在发生，请欣然接受。
-
Athens Half Marathon Runners, Let Me Show You How to get your running proof photos, for free
If you participated the Athens, GA half Marathon like me, you probably already got several emails from the PBC Sports Photography telling you that your photo are ready. When I got this email, I was so excited and went to their website to see the photos of my girlfriend, my friends, and of course myself. This is our first half marathon and we trained very hard for it. I finished 42 overall and 8th in my age group. Qing met her goal to finish in 2 hours. We all want the proof for sure. Plus, I managed to smile to every each photographer while I was running and I want to share the smile with all my family and friends.So, you can imagine how happy I was when I saw my photos following the link in that email. After browsing all my picture, I naturally right licked the mouse on the photo and expected to see the right-click menu with the "save image as" option. Sadly, nothing happened. Then I realized that this side banned the right-mouse-click to prevent people from downloading pics directly.Well, that's nothing new. They are trying to sell the pictures to you. That's the whole purpose of the business. They took your picture, give you some low resolution ones to preview, and sell you the high resolution ones. I think it's a good idea. The thing is, I do not have that $50 and I can survive with low resolution pics. (If you upload your photos to facebook or other picture hosting services, they probably will down sample it anyway.) So I decide to get the pictures on the website.It's actually very simple, you go to the website following the link in your email, after it is fully loaded, copy and paste the code bellow into the address box of your browser and hit "Enter" key on your keyboard. A small window will popup, just click the small "OK" button on it. Now you can use right mouse click on the website.javascript:alert(document.oncontextmenu='')This is one more thing: when I right click on the photo I want to save, there is no the "save image as" option in the right-click menu. I used "save page as" option instead and save the webpage. When save the webpage, be sure to choose the "save as type" to be "webpage, complete". If you have multiple photos to save, just left click on the small version of the photo you want to download on the left side, and then right click and save the webpage. The program will warn you the same files are already there. Just choose overwrite when asked (Believe me, nothing critical will be overwritten).When all this is done, just go the folder the webpage was saved. You will see one html file and a folder with the same name, go into the folder, you pictures will be there. There are going to be a lot files in the folder. Just sort the files by size. Your photos will be the JPG files with largest file size.Enjoy.
-
我是谁 之四
【原文】
You are human being. What does that mean? Mastery of life is not a question of control, but of finding a balance between human and Being. Mother, father, husband, wife, young, old, the roles you play, the functions you fulfill, whatever you do——all that belongs to the human dimension. It has its place and needs to be honored, but in itself it is not enough for a fulfilled, truly meaningful relationship or life. Human alone is never enough, no matter how hard you try or what you achieve. Then there is Being. It is found in the still, alert presence of Consciousness itself, the Consciousness that you are. Human is form. Being is formless. Human and Being are not separate but interwoven.
【译文】
你作为人而存在。这是什么意思？这意味这对生命的掌握不在于能否操控它，而是找到“人”与“存在”之间的平衡。你或许是个母亲，父亲，丈夫，妻子。无论你青春年少或是垂垂老矣，也无论你扮演怎样的角色，身肩何种职责，你的所作所为，都属于你为“人”的这个维度。当然，这些值得赞扬，但却不足以代表完整真实且有意义的关系或者生活。只是做“人”是不够的，无论你在这一方面如何努力如何成功。
“存在”必不可少。
“存在”只在静止的警醒的当下的意识之中。这意识就是“你存在”。“人”是有形的，“存在”是无形的，这二者互相交织，密不可分。
【心得】
英语真有趣啊。我是谁这个问题有两个关键词，“我”与“是”。这个问题的答案是“Human Being”，对应的翻译就是人与存在。问题也就是答案。“Who am I”或者“What am I” 答案，都是以“I am” 开头的。“我”“是”或者我“存在”。而这两个词后面跟着什么，并不是最重要的。我可以作为这个或者那个存在，但是只有一点是关键。我存在。
-
我是谁 之三
【原文】
Ego arises when your sense of Beingness, of "I Am," which is formless consciousness, gets mixed up with form. This is the meaning of identification. This is forgetfulness of Being, the primary error, the illusion of absolute separateness that turns reality into a nightmare.
Ego is always identification with form, seeking yourself and thereby losing yourself in some form. Forms are not just material objects and physical bodies. More fundamental than the external forms —— things and bodies——are the thought forms that continuously arise in the field of consciousness.
【译文】
自我的出现，来自于人对存在或者“我存在”这些无形之物的觉知与具体的形态的混淆。 自我是认同感，也是对存在的遗忘。这些导致事物是绝对分离的幻觉。这个致命的错误， 将现实弄得一塌糊涂。
自我总是寻求与各种具体形态的认同，这种寻找必将导致你强调某些形态，却忽视其他一些。形态并非仅是物质。比那些外在的形态——也即各种事物——更基本的， 是以思维形式存在的形态。他们在意识中不停闪现。
【心得】
如果有人对你说，想法是物体，你能接受么?我想我能。我们不能“看见”想法，也无法听到，但是当它出现时，你知道。 我们不知道想法是怎么出现的，但是它总是不停的冒出来——尤其是在你无所事事的时候。 如果你能接受思维是事物，是形态，就可以了。 这一段除了这个，没有将别的额外意思。
-
我是谁 之二
【原文】
Equating the physical sense-perceived body with "I", the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering sooner or later. To refrain from identifying with body doesn't mean that you neglect, despise, or no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can enjoy and appreciate those attributes——while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through right nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the formless dimension, the light of consciousness, can shine more easily through the fading form.
【译文】
将感觉/知觉到的肉身等同於“我”，迟早会给人打来痛苦。肉身注定会衰老，枯萎，凋零。不将肉身当作我，并非是教你忽视，鄙视乃至于不再关心身体。若有强壮身体，充沛精力或俊美面容，我们不但该趁着它们逝去之前尽情享受并感激它们，更应加强营养与锻炼以增强与改善它们。只是，如果我们不将身体与“我”等同起来，就不会在容颜老去，精力减退，身体衰弱时，受到它们对个人的价值的判断和身份认同的影响。实际上，当身体开始衰老时，那不依赖于形体的意识之光便能更容易穿透正在腐朽逝去的形态，散发出耀眼的光彩。
【心得】
《我是谁 之一》中提到了，“我是谁”这个问题的答案，并不能“以我是某某”这样的形式来回答。这里强调的是，我不是我的身体。身体这一物质形态，注定了将在世间承受苦痛。它将在某些时刻强大无比，充满活力，也将会衰老，变弱，最终消失。虽然”我“最终也会伴随身体消失，但身体并不能等同与“我”。 “我”完全可以不受身体痛苦的限制，自由的探索与生活。
-
我是谁 之一
【原文】
The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I AM.
【译文】
我是谁？
这个问题的终极答案，不是我是这个我是那个，而是我存在。
【心得】
我们几乎每天都在回答“我是谁”这个问题，尤其是在遇到新朋友的做自我介绍时。而答案，无非是，我是清阳，我是学生，我是心理学专业的学生，我是中国人，我是留学生，我跑步，我是父母的儿子，母亲的哥哥，女友的男友... 仔细想想，这些无非是在给自己贴一个标签了事。这些标签无非是为了简化自己，以图让别人（或别人的思维）认识其我来更加容易些。这些答案都没有错，但没有一个是完全描述自己的。它们只能算部分真实，因为它们有可能是变化的。比如，在未来的某些时候，我可以不再是学生，也可能不再搞心理学，也可能成为其他国家的公民，也会从男友变成丈夫... 这些变动不居的标签，只适合某一时间和空间.
如果要用高度概括的话来涵盖所有的事实，除了这一句“我存在”更合适的了。这句话看似没有任何具体信息，其实却传达了一个非常重要的观点：我是什么并非十分重要，而是在这一刻，我存在着，作为学生，跑者，男性，儿子，哥哥，男友...等等这一切存在着。这才是根本，才是最真实也最重要的。
-
[健康] Oct. 2nd, Nuci’s SPACE 5k
I have to say Oct. 2nd was a nice day, sunny and calm. It was a little bit chilly but not bad at all. Not bad for a morning run. Actually, Freya did her 12 miles long run and I participated The 7th Annual S.P.A.C.E. Race 5K.
It was my second 5K race this year. The first one was the Athens Twilight 5K in April. It took me 20:04 to finish the 5K last time. This time I wanted something under 20 to set a new PR.
Freya’s long run ended at the start of my 5K. We planed her long run route the night before so she could finish her training and meet me at the start of the 5K to cheer for me. And of course, she took some photos. This is me before the race.
My labmates John and Lauren also ran the race. Cindy participated as a volunteer. Actually it was Cindy who informed us about the Nuci’s SPACE run.
The race started in some traditional way which I had no idea what it was. I just started running when I sensed others were moving.
Yes, I was at the front line.
The whole run was OK. I did not feel very well. It was like lack of energy. I had the feeling that I wanted to go faster but I couldn’t because there was no fuel in the tank. Maybe I was too excited, I don’t know. All that I could do was to keep my pace, and keep going. that’s it…
This is me towards the finish. Freya took this photo and then the battery of the camera died. There was no video when I was passing the finish this time. We planned it, but did not check the battery.
I finished the third overall. The final results were not posted yet as of now, but I finished under 20 minutes for sure. I am happy with the result.
After the race, a mild pancreatitis episode attacked me. I had to take pain medicine and stay in bed. The pain lasted about 8 hours. I don’t think the race is the cause of the attack. It probably would happen no matter what. It might have affected my performance. Yeah, I believe I could have done better.
Anyway, what has been done has been done. Training will continue. Looking forward to my next race, the Athens Half Marathon!
update: I found more photos here.
